o wat da hell, it's da holz...

slpt 6:00 dis mornin, woke up around 1:00-ish. can't say i lyk wakin up l8 n feeling lyk crap, bt can't say i h8 it either, coz out hea's jst gloomy all da way. wish my bro culd'v at least drop me off home 1st b4 goin drivin off in2 da sunset (well, sunrise, actually). nw i'm stuck in a dingy lil flat wea dea's dis other building RIGHT NEXT TO IT n blocks all sunlite, n no matter hw much we complained 2 da city council dey done nuffin bout it evn tho it's pretty much against da law coz dat damn building's lyk less dan 2m away. actually, mayb evn 1 m! nw i dun evn no wen it's day tym coz it still luks da same in da flat (ok, fine, u can actually c sunlite, but it's nt gettin in2 da flat so wats da dif??

i'm feelin so lazy. it's rly jst home-sickness, bt i still feel lazy. i wanna c my friends 2. jst rly glad u'r at da other end of cyber-space listenin 2 me nesha =) . c, if i was home, i'd prob run past ur house evry morning at least, if nt jst crash ur place, or ring u up til u'r insane n gt u 2 cum my place. i mean, dea's no other tym i can do things lyk dat wen family's around. nw i'm missing my chance.

on da other hand, i LOVE watchin dvds n all, n knitting. it's nt goin newea, bt hey, at least i feel happy n go thru all my daily emotions wifout actually goin thru da experience! watched My Girl yesterdae n i'm vry gr8ful evry day dat i dun hv 2 go thru wif sumthin so painful. den agen, i'v neva loved either, so i'm missin out on dat, bt i'v got my friends, so who cares???

its so hard hvin 2 write about myself twice. i knw i write a lot more hea on my blog coz it's WAY easier jst typing. writing makes my hand sore n wen i'm fussy bout my handwriting in my journal, dat jst makes it worse. bt my journal i gt my own private space, coz wen i hv my journal wif me, i'm usually all alone, by myself, n i'm nt so worried about hvin sum1 lukin ova my shoulder. n i dun subconsciously think, am i makin sense? i mean, sure, i still write lyk dea's no1 readin dis blog (which nesha has proved untrue =) !!!!!), bt it's jst 1 of those things u jst do wifout evn thinkin.

it's pretty much winter nw n i'm SO happy. it's breezy, bt nt quite cold enuff 4 me 2 hv 2 wear my hoodies n stuff, much as i love dem. it's strange, but i actually wore my hoodies more often in da summer-autumn tym dan da last month, which is more wintry. i'v bn goin out in t-shirts n sumtyms a long sleeves t-shirt n i feel fine. i c wearing these warm woolly jackets n sweaters n things n it actually makes me feel awkward.

lol, i jst realised hw self-centered i'v become agen. dea's nt 1 sentecne in da whole damn thing dat doesn't hv 'i' in it. i used 2 blame it on da fact dat i dun gt 2 go newea or meet ne1 or do enthing, so dea's nuffin else 2 talk about bt me, bt nw? kat n mel's gone ski trip, guess dat's 1 thing i culd say. um...oh rite, family. funny hw i'm willing 2 clean up dat flat 4 my family rather dan jst waste sum money n catch a ride home n enjoy myself, n yet, i neva talk about my family. mayb it's dat whole secretive thing dat's goin on. it's lyk in Mr and Mrs Smith, wen dey r at Coleman's. lyk all these women r talkin bout their husbands n all, n Jane's jst sittin dea thinkin wat da hell is dis n wyl sum1 plz hire an assassin 2 kill dese damn ppl so i can gt out. it's nt so much she doesn't want 2 say sumthin, bt mre dat she has nuffin 2 say coz she doesn't knw, n she doesn't knw 4 a reason.

n i think i'm jst gunna stop my ramblin hea. dis hol's turnin in2 a rather interestin one...