i still hv a month b4 i get bak home. a month. it's both a short tym n a long tym. atm, it seems lyk 4eva. it's def 1 of those moments wea i'm tired of living. dea's nuffin hea 4 me, n nuffin hea i can do 4 ne1. yeah, i'v always bn sumwat insig, but dea r always days worse than others, n these last couple wks hv bn hell.

i rly wish i culd run away.

it's shameful. i'v failed once, n i've failed agen. thing is, most of d tym, i rly culdn't care less, 'specially last year. jst outgrown my fam way 2 fast, n much as i wuld luv 2 study n pass my courses, if not get at least B minuses, i jst can't help but run away frm it all n b a complete brat to my fam... i partied, i wasted my tym n money, i thort of nuffin but myself n my friends. fam was in my mind vry lil. i can't exactly say i regret it, tho i do feel a lil remorse. must say, dat didn't evn happen til da last half of 2nd sem... i'm happy 4 myself i found motivation agen, but sad dat i nw rememba evrything i did n hw i'v spent my tym. it cuts me evry tym my fam tlks about it. if i m such a spoilt brat, y r dey still keepin me in wif all these disappointments n rules? n if dey'r hopin i'll change, y hvn't dey learnt, afta 3 yrs, dat it jst doesn't wrk? i hate all these stupid mind games. we'v playd dem 4 so long...