fireworks and confetti...jst all ova da place =)

well, it's been hell of a wk dis wk. jst wen i finally feel like i've settled down n everything, it turns out 2 b mid-sem break. life's like dat. jst gotta deal... one thing's 4 sure - i am SO failing those three tests! chem210 is a definite fail. evn if all da question i answered was PERFECT (which i *KNOW* they weren't) i would scrap through wif 51/100. yup, u read dat rite. i would pass by 2 marks. biochem was horrible. everything i studied for was in da exam all rite - worth 5/100 marks. ok, so i know sum other stuff 2, but evn if i pass, it'd probably b another marginal one. n finally, chem120. it was da easiest test of them all, but i jst hv 2 stuff up. wen dey tld us 2 put our pens down, i was still thinking about how 2 do such n such questions. if i had time, i probably would've finished it fine.

broke sumthing again at work 2day. i put a tray full of dishes on a basin n must've knocked it sideways. fortunately only one bowl was broken. da rest was still nicely intact. it's one of those moments in my life when i think there must've been an angel or sum sorta miracle or sumthing, coz there were like 3 big plate, 1 medium plate, 1 med bowl, 1 small bowl, 2 saucers n a cup. da med bowl was d only thing broken. n not only dat, but afta i broke it, Cass n dem all jst laughed. dey laughed like nothing happen. ok, so i still feel really bad coz now i'm practically breaking sumthing every week, but i jst felt so much more comfortable working coz i don't feel like i'm being watched. although amanda's still got me working only 14.5 hrs nxt wk, which is making me suspicious coz usually i work 16.5, n nxt wk's mid-sem break, so u'd think i should work more, i'm feeling much better.

it was daffodil (i'm still not sure how 2 spell it) day yesterday. i bought 2 pins, tho i'm not sure why coz i hv a habit of keeping dem n now, if i hvn't lost sum of them, i would've had at least 7. wat's da point in getting more? y don't i jst put da money in? neway, i walked along queen street n da national bank at da corner of victoria st was *SO* crowded. dey had sausage sizzle outside ($2~!!!! i can buy 2 pies n heat it up at da uni microwave!!) n there were sum staffs doing ppl's hair. i was tempted 2 go in n check it out, c if u had 2 pay n all dat, but i just asked mum d other day n she sed she wouldn't evn let me dye a single streak of my hair pink. i really wanna do dat. i'm thinking about it 4 my birthday. it's either pink or green. i thought of white, but den i'd probably look like a skunk. n i'll probably c if i can get my ears pierced. neway...back 2 daffodil day... so i didn't end up going in there. oh, n i think about 2/3 of da ppl hv at least one daffodil pin. it was kinda amazing coz i've neva seen so many ppl wear dem b4.

i thought i lost my star/pentagram necklace on tuesday. had me so worried. turns out it was rolled up in da duvet. i changed da chain so i know it won't fall off again (coz dat's how i "lost" it). i feel kinda sad tho, coz i like da old chain better. it was thicker n longer. dis one looks like it should go wif sum sorta prettier jewellery. da old chain seem more like me. oh well...

i watched National Treasure on Sky yesterday. it was an awesome movie. i like it a lot. i'm jst not sure why there wasn't much publicity n all dat jazz about it. i certainly like it a lot more than, oh i don't know, spiderman or sumthing. come 2 think of it, i probably like it better than pirates of the caribbean. if sophie reads dis, she's so gonna kill me. gem, who's more likely 2 read it coz she knows dis blog's existence, will 2, but she hasn't been sending ne emails so i assume she's been busy n hvn't been on da net. it wouldn't matter tho, since i've been certified dead already. last yr. short version: modelling a crisis scene of house on fire. i was supposed 2 b shocked, slow breathing, pale, etc, but dey certified me dead. i evn got a 'deceased' tag. so yeah, i'm dead. tld u i'm da devil.

i'm not sure why but i was smiling quite a bit at work 2day. other than the feeling more comfortable thing, i mean. like there was da down part of da day when i started singing 2 myself 'nobody likes me, everybody hates me, i think i'm gonna eat worms...' (do u rememba da song kat??) den sumtime abotu 1:00pm, i was jst popping around n i can't rememba wat happen, but i rememba thinking or saying sumthing 2 myself which reminded me of 'I'M A LLAMA AGAIN!' from the emperor's new groove (I LOVE DAT FILM!)

ah...can't wait 2 get home n hv a lil bite or sumthing. i jst wanna eat sumthing small n little n sweet coz i've already had dinner but i still wanna eat. ah well, suppose i gotta wait a while... in da mean time, i'll jst surf da net like i hvn't done in ages!

up, up, n...no, not away...but down n up n down...

well, i dunno if it's da choc or wat. i finished half a block of choc in 10 minutes yesterday, n i don't think my sugar-n-caffeine sensitive body has managed 2 get everything out of the system yet, coz i'm still constantly on da move (yeah, i'm kinda wiggling in my chair rite now...don't picture it coz dat's jst disgusting!!!). yesterday i lived up 2 my former glory as THE ultimate jumping bean, n i'm still going (except i kinda had 2 stop 2 avoid weird looks frm uni students :P )

neway...

thank you thank you thank you jst 4 keeping me happy evn tho i was so insane in my last post guys (girls, wateva) !

i hv no idea how i jst got from being always in the middle (like not 2 bad but not 2 good either) 2 da 2 extremes. like 3 days ago i was all depressed n now i'm hyperactive. meh. i blame it on da choc (but it tasted so nice!!!!!)

i'm kinda freaking out about my tests. i know i know, i should b full-on studying. well, i WAS, but learning protein names is jst not my thing. give me theories 2 understand is all good... tell me 2 rememba a heck of a lot of names dat all end in '-ase' is jst not my thing. plus, it's so darn annoying 2 rememba which one does wat wen sum of dem sound so similar, like 3-phosphoglycerate kinase is supposed 2 go b4 phosphoglyceromutase, but i always 4get (u'd say i obviously hvn't 4got dis time, but u neva know if i'm sitting wif my bk on my lap or sumthing!!).

*breathe*

got work 2nite. i'm not sure whether i'm looking 4ward 2 it. elly's leaving dis wk, n dat makes me really sad coz elly's pretty much da only full-time staff dat i like now, n 2 think dat she's leaving...it's such a bummer
kirsten's nice, but now dat she's gonna b supervisor she's gonna change. usually she let me fool around a bit (fool around meaning letting me make my mistakes n all dat). now, well, it's nothing bad, it's jst dat da atmosphere feels a lot less friendly. she seems like another amanda, n it's nothing personal, but i'm not in2 da whole doing everything by da list sorta thing. i mean, organisation is useful, sure, but i can't say i like how we were assigned 2 particular spots n all dat.it feels like picking on ppl. like i try 2 b nice, den i get in2 trouble (which i did once. i was txting my brother 4 bus times 4 dis woman, sharon, n den amanda came n caught me wif da cellphone.) n then there r times like sunday when i was *jst* going 2 get a cloth n amanda turn 2 me n say, 'dom, can u clear dat table?' now, she was jst telling me wat 2 do, like she wasn't yelling at me, her voice wasn't evn stern. but it makes me feel bad coz it's seems like i'm not doing my job properly, hving 2 b told 2 do sumthing. n on top of all dis, i seem 2 b da only one who's such a klutz n all. i sumtimes excuse myself dat i'm trying 2 study hard n all dat as well, but then i overheard kirsten talking 2 emma (da 2nd yr law student). turns out dat emma has a scholarship, n is one of those ones u hv 2 keep ur grades up for. so dat means she's prob working 16 hours every week (like me) n she's getting good grades n she's doing law (which everybody is always saying it's hard). i'm jst doing a science major, getting, wat, B - average, n i'm feeling like shit, n breaking n 4getting stuff left n rite. honestly, it feel so stink when da bubbles jst bursts like dat. n i can't 'hate' emma either coz she's really nice, like sam. sumtimes i tell myself dat being a runner is so much harder than being a barista (which i think is so totally tru. i mean, come on! i'm da one hving 2 walk around wif breakfasts n coffees n wiping tables...a barista jst stands there n make coffees all day), but emma hasn't actually spent much time on da coffee machine, n on sunday she was doing my job as well coz she sed there's nothing 4 her 2 do (which was tru coz we'v only got 2 tills n they were both being used by ppl)

i swear sumtimes science students should get more credit :P .

i think da sugar's starting 2 wear off. i'm starting 2 feel tired. shit...i hvn't evn studied 4 chem 120 or...DAMN DAMN DAMN... oh shit...chem210... shit shit shit. stupid stg 2 elective... i'm so doomed on friday!!!
-yeah, wat happen jst den is dat i hv a BioSci106 (biochemistry) test 2morrow, chem120 (chemistry of the material world) test on thursday n chem 210 (dis subject i 4got, but we learnt stuff 2 do wif polymers n semi-conductors) friday. chem 120 i can manage coz i understood da lectures, but chem210...while it's pretty easy 4 a stg 2 course, i still feel like i must've missed sumthing coz i hv no idea wat da lecturer is going on about. da lecturer we hv rite now, i understand (although english being my 2nd language is starting 2 kick in as a problem. i found dat it takes me a while 4 me 2 interpret all my lectures especially when i don't understand sumthing), but da previous lecturer we hv talking about polymers i understood nothing. so, i better scoot n kick myself 4 forgetting about dat, n probably stay up 2 study on thursday nite...wish me luck!!!


p.s. i jst made a comment in da last post, but it's annoying hving 2 scroll down 2 da nxt post n i'm not evn sure whether nebody'd actually check it again, so... here it is
-lol cheers!while i can't say i'm really all brite n happy n cheery (despite my intro in da nxt entry) i am feeling better. jst...thanks =)
n jst another thing... kat, da email sounded nowhere near mean, or evn a lecture. it sound like sum advice/opinion thing dat jst calmed me down...honest =)

2 b or not 2 b...dat is da question.

i couldn't go on da net yesterday, but i did use da comp, so i thought i'd type an entry 4 da blog n post it 2day. well... here it goes...

i was typing an entry 4 dis blog about half an hr ago. it ended up being two pages long, but unfortunately, it wasn’t sumthing dat could go on da net. 4 one, i’d prbably get police hunting me down 4 destroying lil kids’ innocence n being politically incorrect n all dat jazz…
meh, neway…
i was thinking of starting poetically, like da original entry, n say sumthin bout da tranquillity of da nite n how i feel, but my mood hv jst changed dramatically. i’m jst in a obnoxious sorta mood rite now. well, i’m definitely not feeling poetically nehow.
there’s nothing but 2 spill my heart wen i’m in moods like this, but i don’t wanna spill my heart. i know everybody’s getting sick of me spilling my heart n whining n being so damn self-centered… so i guess dat’s it…4 now…

yup, dat was all 4 yesterday. i bet u'r all very surprised at how SHORT dat was~!!

neway...

yeah, i was in a very depressed n sober mood when i started da entry yesterday nite... it changed soon enough. now, i'm jst being me, me being undefinable, jst coz i'm whacked n my mood is worse than da weather newhere.

i only realised yesterday as i was doing da entry dat i've lost a lot of my calm poetic self. now, i'm not gonna do a repeat of yesterday nite's entry (da one dat's NOT posted here) n dwell on da past 2 much, but i used 2 b like da ocean swells (well...dat's a romantic way of putting it...of course in real life it's more realistic), jst going wif da flow, nothing shocking or hidden, calm. now i'm like a hurricane, all go-go, no break, chattering like there's no 2morrow. i know most of my friends r saying it's good n dey like it dat i'm talking, but it's exhausting n sumhow, it doesn't feel like me. evn if i feel like i've opened up n let everybody know everything about me, i feel like i'm wearing a mask.

oh shit, here i go being all philosophical again. DAMN. dat's wat i did yesterday...AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

okay, u know wat? i give up. i'm not posting nemore 2day. it jst makes me depressed. well, dat's kinda okay...i'm da same depressed or not... but it makes other ppl scared n freaked out, n i'm talking nonsense n nothing seems 2 b linked 2 nething else... blah...

so, at the end of the day, am i sane or insane????? u b da judge.

- the words of a lunatic (jst coz i'm not making ne sense at da moment)

p.s. 2 kat

if i eva give u another elephant, would u mind naming it Elly Fin (yup, it has a last name of Fin :P !!)

there's about 3 days' entries here, jst in case u r wondering!! i'm not surprised if u read only one, or evn none of them, but if u r gonna read them, plz start frm da bottom coz it's probably da most interesting one of all =) .

so wat if da world keeps spinning?

in d end, i still hv time 2 update my blog! on a wkday!!! not dat much has happened since yesterday.
medsci lab was really dull 2day. as one of da girls i met n her boyfriend (who did da lab last yr) put it, kinda puts u off. da girl was joking around saying she's gonna say 2 her boyfriend afta da lab, 'we'll jst b friends...jst stay away...'
oh! i saw peter king (my 5th form science n 6th form bio teacher) 2day when i hurried frm my lecture 2 get sum food. he looked almost da same (i think he mite hv more white hair or sumthing, but i'm not gonna say nething certain about stuff like dat!!!). i was jst surprised he still rememba me! tho whether he remembas my name is another story. i don't rememba him mentioning it a single time during our conversation. but then again, i neva got a chance 2 say his either, so...
our chem120 lecturer is so not getting da respect he deserves (as a lecturer). i mean, ok, so da stuff we're learning r easy (evn if i do prob end up flunking da test or exam or *SOMETHING*), n sumtimes (actually most of da time) da experiments don't quite seem 2 work, but still... he's a pretty good lecturer. at least he gives extra info (as in more interesting facts, trivial facts) n doesn't jst babble on about all dat u'r supposed 2 learn n 4get about everything else.
now, moving away frm my day...my random thoughts n opinions...
auckland city'll neva make da stereotypical clean n green NZ. jst about everywhere i walk reminds me of a rubbish dump. it's not jst around uni, or evn auckland city. it's everywhere (except perhaps da east)...socks n underwear n other disgusting things best not mentioned chucked on da curb, jst lying on da footpath... i can't say i've seen nething like dis evn in downtown LA, which is sumtimes supposed 2 b worse. in fact, i'd say downtown LA is WAY better than dat. da only thing dat makes downtown LA worse (if it does indeed make it worse) r da ppl sleeping on da sidewalks.
n now my free-time on da internet is coming 2 an end... as britney spears sed (or sang)... 'but tell me, what happens when it stops?' my answer? it neva stops!!!

do angels make mistakes?

i love da lil quote 'i'd say i'm an angel, but would you believe me?' i love it. i try my best 2 b da incarnate of it. but da hope dat i've impressed dis impression on all those working wif me (i.e. my workmates) was completely shattered at exactly 9:30 this morning. first thing i arrived, amanda was at me like a bullet. it was all 'u didn't do dis during pack-down (dat's all da stuff u hv 2 do when we close so nxt morning, ppl don't hv 2 do so much coz 4 pack down u get an hour, but 4 set-up, u only get half)' or 'dis wasn't done.' i would've let dat go by, usually, but it wat really annoyed me was da way she tld me how there was da pack-down list n everything was ticked, but half of the things weren't done. well, if she'd jst *LOOK* she mite hv spotted dat the names at the bottom says 'Clive, Tai, Leon, Simon' do i c a 'dom' or 'dominica' or evn munchkin there????!! NO! i thought dey had done everything! plus, i wasn't evn in charge! hell, i've bn there 4 a month, almost, true, but all 2gether, i've probably worked there, wat, twelve times, n guess wat, i'm jst a runner. i'm not da big bossy person dat's supposed 2 tell everybody wat 2 do. n evn then, i jst mite hv walked away n say 2 myself, amanda has reasons 4 being angry. i probably would b angry myself if dat happened 2 me. it would b fine. but she jst HAS 2 bring it up again about five times... yeah, i rememba all my mistakes. do u rememba all of urs?
all in all, 2day wasn't good 4 me. i was bitchy. i broke a few drinks when it slipped frm my hand, but i'm not sure if nebody but Sam knows or remembas. nehow, i'm jst in my foul moods, n if i was da devil, i'd b stabbing amanda again n again jst 4 everything she sed. i'll regret it. give me a day or two. actually, give me a wk. i'm busy da nxt few days. i'll calm down.
as long as u don't add more fuel 2 da fire...

I'LL BE BACK!

would you like eyes and brains with that?!?!?!?

i jst spent ages typing a heap of stuff dat'd eventually turn in2 a post, n den the bloody comp went whacked on me! no use crying over spilt milk... yeah, try saying that when u hv no time n when u do u realise u've jst wasted it!

n while i'm in an angry mood...

i, and prob quite others like kirsten, am sick of those ppl who demands 2 hv there food *right now*. hell, would u jst open ur eyes?!??!!? there's twenty ppl who ordered about the same time you did, and five other ppl who ordered b4 u, n more ppl waiting in line 2 b served still, n our café's only so big, n we hv only 2 chefs. it's times like these when i really jst want 2 hug all those ppl who say 2 me, 'oh, no, it's okay. it's really busy isn't it? but you're doing so well!!' these r da good ppl of da world. i'm so close 2 hating those haughty customers dat jst give u dis *LOOK*. i don't complain very often. 4 all dat i'm judgemental, i scold myself when i think bad of ppl n keep it inside, n punish myself if it ever goes out, n put make myself feel completely miserable n low-life if it ended up hurting ppl. i deal wif it, n when it's overboard, i whine 2 all my friends (i'm really sorry daria, kat...all u ppl who get nonsense crap frm me...). i whine about wat i feel, but i complain about what's *right* (or what's wrong). i whine because it's my fault i can't handle, but i'm complaining, rite now, bcoz those haughty ppl dat wouldn't evn give us a chance hv not consider 4 a single moment about da situation. use your eyes and your brains to *look* and *think*, pplz!

jst had 2 get dat off my chest. hell i'm in a crappy mood.

i saw daria the other day. apparently i hv a 'quirky' sense of humour. i've neva thought i had a sense of humour, n definitely not quirky. ok...i dunno how dat just came out, but i'm not condeming daria. if anythin i'm actually happy n kinda proud of it. i suppose i hv a quirky sense of humour, since a couple days b4 dat, i was listening 2 When I'm Gone (Eminem) chorus n thought, i want 2 play dat at my funeral. actually, dat's kinda satyr, but hell, it's humour when it really happens (if it will) !!! but yeah, i actually started thinking dat, at my funeral, i'd jst want everybody 2 remember ME n talk about ME n everybody 2 SMILE jst for ME, n when they play music, the songs dat jst has 2 b there r You're So Vain, When I'm Gone (jst da chorus is fine, but da whole song's kewl 2), n I Will Survive (n i want everybody 2 laugh n think of ME!!!!!). YUP, IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!
oh n apparently Lauren n dem others didn't get da quote 'Do you have red wine? I'm a vegetarian vampire.' kirsten didn't get it either when i tld her, but nikki did. gemma did 2. i'm not quite sure whether i tld u, kat, mel, nesha. tell me if u get it (or not)!!!

oh, n jst in case u guys don't know dat i've always posted comments after urs (about a wk later!!), i'm glad u like da elephant kat! n now dat u know there's a post mayb u'll go n read it...?

i jst worked out the other day dat i spend on average 25 hrs a wk at uni 4 lectures n labs (19hrs on wks wifout labs, 31 hrs on wks wif labs). dat's a lot of time. i didn't realise it until i sat down n jst glanced at my timetable the other day.

oh gem, 2 quotes dat mite make u laugh. there was dis guy, Chris, who was working at da café until lst friday n ne1, once, he was singing (da sort of singing dat's jst 4 fun n doesn't really matter whether it's in tune or not) n den suddenly stop n sed "don't i sound like a enuch??" n quote two: *something about gp 1 n 2 elements - periodic table n chemistry n all dat jazz* "both gps of metals are HIGHLY REACTIVE elements." my first thought: Peter King should read this :P .

now, more 'diary-stuff'.

work dis wk's been okay. at least i didn't break any cups. i did spill two coffees tho. i was trying 2 do dat thing holding two cups of coffee in one hand. well, i must've lost balance on my hand or sumthing. but other than dat, i think i did ok. at least i did better than last wk!!!

n there was a sale at Whitcoulls when i went there on Tuesday. i walked out wif three bks (fiction!!!) in my backpack n $11.00 less in my wallet. evn til now (saturday) i hv no idea wat those bks r about.

oh, n saw nikki yesterday n gave her her birthday present early. i hope she likes it a lot.

i don't think i did my previous post (da one dat got deleted coz of da comp) justice, but oh well, i gotta go neway. it's late, n while i'm not sleepy at all, i'm damn tired.

oh!!! i had my phil105 test yesterday. it was the funnest (is there such word??) test i've ever had. i think i got valid arguments and plausible premises mixed up. well, i did, n i did my best 2 fix it up coz there seemed 2 b lil space (me, being the world-class klutzy-idiot dat i am, didn't realise there was a whole blank page afta dat until i squished as much as i could on da first page n finally gave in 2 write on da back n flip over 2 find dat wat i need was jst there), n i hope da markers (da lecturers) understood wat i was trying 2 do. i wish i can get a copy of my test. i don't wanna check my mark, i jst wanna read what i wrote :P .

better go... i'm so tired n it's so late...

oh oh (this is about 1 minute later), i jst remembered!!!

i got 2 know John (who's a friend of Sophie, n Sophie's this really intelligent but still kewl person i gotta know. she's got a scholarship, passed her five courses wif A's last sem, n like me, she's doing five courses, one of which is stg 2, this sem) a bit better coz i had a chance 2 talk 2 him on thursday. he's really intelligent 2. like rite now, he has dis personal project going on dat's something 2 do wif eggshells n quails n contact lenses. like, coz wif contact lenses, u hv 2 allow d eyes 2 breath coz they're living cells 2, n den eggshells r like these really strong stuff n dey'd allow oxygen through coz den da eggs won't survive, n it has 2 b da rite temperature 2... blah blah blah... it sounded really fascinating, n had i had da time, i'd tell him 2 carry on n i'd probably repeat da whole thing on da blog (n put ppl 2 sleep n den mayb, jst mayb, i can hypnotised half da world n rule it...mwahahahaha!!!!)

neway, really gotta scoot now!!!

n my life jst get crazier n crazier...

da labs hv started all over again. dat trek 2 medschool was NOT fun. my shoes were soaked n making all these squiggy (sp) sounds. all dis jst 2 look at a brain! okay, so it was an actual human brain n i appreciate da fact dat i actually got 2 look at it n touch it n everything... but walking in da rain jst 2 rememba what a lateral fissure looks like n what it does... hell, i can do dat netime i want jst by reading a damn txtbk!!!!!
den chem210 lab...now dat was hilarious. i finished my first lab experiment (now i jst gotta do da report) n went on 2 start on da second, doing sum electrode potentials wif silver nitrate. i dunno if it's coz it's water soluble or whether i jst didn't clean it off properly... neway, i must've got sum silver nitrate on me when i was pulling my gloves off coz guess what! i woke up on wednesday morning, freaked out, coz my fingers were stained wif this horrible brown-black stuff. as elly said, they looked heck of a lot like scabs. neway, i picked up my craftknife n scraped sum of it off, but stopped when i did a few cuts 2 deep.
went 2 visit da cafe in on wednesday morning. met simon, who's doing second yr science, i think. n den chris tld me he's leaving. den i went 2 library 2 study until i had a lecture...then i got a call from elly telling me 2 go 2 work coz they changed da timetable on me. so ran from symond st 2 auckland city library n into Real cafe (dat's where i work guys! it's RIGHT NXT 2 da auckland city library. working nxt wed n da wkend. dunno about timetable 4 da wk afta dat coz dey mite change -_-;;;). met Emma, who's jst applied 4 da job as barista n got it coz kirsten hurt her wrist n couldn't go 2 work, n dey couldn't find ne1 else. Emma's a 2nd yr law student. she's nineteen, n is my height, n a pretty good person 2 chat wif n all dat.
thursday, chem120 lab. it was fun. i mean, redox rxns n ppt n all dat jazz? dat's so 7th form~!!!
yesterday was chris's last day. i was gonna go 2 da cafe 2 c him, but it was 2 awkward so i ended up making notes on da 2nd floor instead.
oh, n saw daria yesterday n had about an hour (or mayb 2) talk wif her. it was so good 2 c her again just 2 catch up n all.
n went 2 work 2day. it was full-on. apparently dey got a five-star grading. i dunno how, or when, but dis lady tld me when i was serving her dat we got a five-star grade in da wkend herald or sumthing.
oh, n i met simon properly. he n kirsten were working at da coffee machine, n dey gave me my nickname - Munchkin. i sed it reminded me of doughnuts :P . neway, better than 'hobbit' or 'oompa loompa' which were the other names 4 me. oh, n i met Cass as well. it's her 2nd day on da job, but boy does everybody work fast!!! i feel so left behind n i'm glad evn just 2 b there n get 2 work.

i think dat's all for now. i'd love 2 write more, but mum's hassling me.

oh, n would ne1 b surprised if i sed i think i'm going psychotic again???