the gene pool could use a little chlorine...

...or so it says on my badge. i guess it's not all dat wrong either. take emma n i, 4 example. emma's da 2nd yr law student on her scholarship. she had 2 essays due last wk. i think dey were both 2400 words essays. she didn't eat 4 a day at least, n slept about 2 hrs, n she goes on like nothing's happened. oh, she mite've sed sumthing like i'm so tired...but she's damn well entitled 2. now contrasting all these stuff is me: slept 5 hrs, eat sumthing (dat sumthing ranges from yoghurt 2 three cookies 2 curry chicken 2 a sandwich) about every 8 hrs...give a take a couple depending... n i'm already hving trouble concentrating in lectures (fortunately i didn't miss 2 much), fell asleep in one of dem (not purposely. like i didn't jst go in there n think i'm tired so i'm gonna sleep through it. it was more like y m i so darn ... *zzzzzzzz*), n when i try 2 take notes at nite, i hv 2 read everything 5 times b4 i begin 2 understand wat it's saying, n read about 5 more times so dat it evn has a CHANCE 2 stay in my head, n twice more trying 2 re-write it in my own words n failing, so i end up writing half da bk n skipping da other half of junk dat i don't need.

but other than that, i'm fine. da sun's been out all wk, n tho it makes me sweat a lot, which in turn makes me feel hideously disgusting, i like hving da sun shining on my face (it makes me feel really dreamy n smile), n when i take my jumper off ( i like hving it on coz all my shirts r - well, dey rn't really small or nething, but it's jst dat i don't like revealing my waist, no matter how much, so i use my jumper 2 cover it up when it's not 2 hot), it's neva 2 long b4 a lil breeze comes along n cools me down so i can get my jumper on again.

oh, n i bought 2 badges yesterday. jst looking at dem make me smile... one sez 'boys r toys' which couldn't b more ironic wen i've neva evn went out wif a guy or nething, n the other seds, in tiny tiny tiny writing 'in rape fantasy n sex terror we trust - joan of arc' . i know...dey're horrible... i guess i hv a really mean sense of humour... it's not sumthing i should b proud of, but shamefully enough, i am 'proud' of it.

meh...i'm too tired 2 care about nething rite now... i jst wanna download sum mp3s n stuff...

oh, n i posted a reply 2 ur comment, kat =) .

okay, gonna go now! i hoenstly don't get 2 spend much time on da internet, n sorry 2 say, but 4 once i'm gonna b REALLY selfish n keep this time 4 myself n waste it all on getting myself sum music!

...my name is angela hey hello...

...welcome 2 my very own show... :P
score! jst earned $40 on monday 4 working 3 hrs, wif no tax deduction wat so eva. dat jst SO rocks! n it's my last working day 4 da wk...get 2 hv wkend free...SO GOOD!!!! shame about all da stuff i hv 2 do in dat free time tho. ok, so i'm keeping saturday 4 gem... but still... it's probably only gonna last half a day...
so kewl dat u rocked da exams kat!!!!
vaish's engaged????!!! dat's so exciting!!! dat's da most amazing news i've heard since... i'm not actually sure...
hv da weirdest medsci lecturer ever! he was talking about pneumothorax - a hole in da lungs. he start telling dis story - 'now like i've sed, u should all b very diligent n reading all da required readings and everything, so 2nite, u should all b in da philson library over da grafton bridge until it closes. den u'd b walking along grafton bridge n 2 k rd at about 10:00 at nite 2 catch da bus home, n all of a sudden u c dis shadow looming over u. dis woman points a knife at u n goes "give me ur money." n u'd reply, "oh no! plz don't hurt me - i'm jst a very poor student! i hv no money at all. i'm evn buried in debts of student loan. n i don't evn hv a wallet!!!" but she stabs u wif da knife neway. n ur chest starts leaking sum clear fluid n u feel a bit faint n breathless, n it seems 2 go dark. but u don't panic, coz u'd simply poke ur finger in2 da hole, n u start hobbling ur way over grafton bridge 2 da auckland hospital emergency room n go 'pneumothorax!' (in da same tone da girl in da ad says 'robitussin! (sp?)')
i saw jing again - she's dis really nice girl i met at da start of da yr. it was so fun talking 2 her, coz she's always laughing, n honestly doesn't seem 2 mind. plus, angela was wif me n she talks a bit more than me, so i don't feel so bad, coz she listens 2 angela as well n doesn't seem 2 mind dat either.
things r so good rite now, evn tho i'm so doomed coz i've got all these lab reports dat i dunno how 2 rite. stuff dem n damn dem 2 hell!
oh yeah!!! i got my raise!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I'M SO HAPPY N ESTATIC (sp?)...
yikes! gotta scoot!!!

twinkles and squeaks!!!

thanks 4 da posts n i so totally don't mind da lack of dem especially since u'r all busy wif exams!!! da only good side is dat if u do bad, at least it's only mid-years!!!!

i'm sooooooooo glad i don't hv labs dis wk. i'm evn sleeping better. like i woke up dis morning n actually walked down symond st n back up queen st n it felt great. had a lecture, then i've now got all this time 2 spare until 12:00 when i hv my nxt lecture, then i'm jst gonna pop in early at work coz there's only 2 hrs n dat's not enough 4 me 2 settle down n get studies done so... :P when i finish dis entry, i think i'm gonna scoot of 2 rip curl coz dis morning i saw a sign dat sed $4 n i'm wondering wat da heck it is.

i hope i'm catching up on my studies. i feel like i hv, but it's always da same - i still end up stuffing up tests n everything. speaking of which...got philosophy test dis friday *groan*.

emma's found her wallet!! n leon's leaving in about 3 wks. n i'm probably getting a pay rise!!! da approximate amanda gave was $11.50 (it's $10.50 rite now) / hr... i'm SO excited. i still can't believe she chose yesterday 2 tell me tho...afta sunday... i broke a cup on sunday coz i tried 2 carry 2 many dishes n da cup ended up slipping -_-;; typical me.

nothing much's happening at uni. oh! dey're folding paper cranes at da quad 2morrow!! i so totally didn't know internation peace day's 2morrow!!! i thought it was 6th august coz dat's when hiroshima was bombed. *shrugs* nehow...

i'm being totally crazy/insane rite now. i think i need 2 calm down. *breathe*

saw nikki yesterday. she doesn't sound like she's doing 2 well (academically). she's got like 5 essays 2 write n she hasn't done a single one of dem. sumtimes i wonder - would i rather essays or labs?

think i'm gonna pop down 2 rip curl. i seem 2 hv dis thing wif buses dat we jst don't get along, like on monday when i was trying 2 get home, i caught da 212, which doesn't go 2 new lynn but goes down rosebank road, so i had 2 get off n RUN 2 da nxt bus stop 2 catch a bus 2 new lynn. yeah, as i was getting off, dis person's grocery was in da way, so i had 2 step over their groceries n walk down da steps, n my bag got caught on da handles n wen i tried 2 run off, i fell back n ended up hitting my tail-bone on da metal bar. it's still kinda sore, especially since at work we hv swing doors n i hv a habit of butting it coz my hand r full... n den yesterday morning i was jst about 2 leave da house coz i couldn't find da bus time-table (my brother misplaced it) n it jst went straight pass. i ended up walking 2 new lynn (which was fine by me. i love walking =) ) so...toodles!

Chubby and getting chubbier!!!

happy b-day on Sat, Nesha! i'm *SO* bummed dat i got called 2 work when i woke up on Sat coz i was actually HOME, baking CAKES n cookies! n i was gonna go 2 ur house n do my old leave a note n drop sumthing pathetic (in dis case it was a pathetic mess of a cake, but at least it was EDIBLE!!!), but no, i jst had 2 work. hmph. so neway, happy b-day, n now dat i've jst read ur blog, i KNOW u had an awesome day =) .
so neway, all dat baked 'goodies'...well, since i couldn't give it 2 amnesia, everything is now sitting in 4 seperate icecream containers waiting 2 b devoured by my family, except since i'm practically da only one dat eats, i'm eating almost all of it, hence da title!!!
oh, n work... i'm getting obsessed wif work. i worked tue, wed, thurs, sat, sun last wk. dat's 5 out of 7 days. n i loved every bit of it (except i wasn't all dat happy on saturday...but nvm...). n leon taught me how 2 make coffee. i'm so itching 2 get my hands on da coffee machine so i can try. i'm feeling so ambiguous about being taught how 2 make coffee now coz i'm glad dat i learnt, but i know i won't get a chance near da coffee machine so... damn leon. mayb kirsten can watch me n let me try...
emma lost her wallet yesterday. she had 2 cancel ALL her cards n everything... so she had a cup of coffee beside me while i was trying 2 do medsci studying (had a test 2day). n then i started hearing wat she was talking 2 leon about, n i felt so personally jealous coz they were talking about places they've been 2... leon seen da grand canyon n quite a few other places in da states, egypt, lived in germany 4 a while, n emma's been 2 bankok n paris... i've been 2 hollywood n tho i was in da states 4 a while, i was stuck wif my parents wif no-where 2 go... n i spent my wk in spain living at my uncle's. now i was very happy 2 c my uncle, n i loved meeting da ppl dat i met n i wouldn't trade it 4 THE WORLD, but a tiny childish part of me was jst feeling so pissed off dat i went 2 all these places n neva got 2 c things like da grand canyon. okay, so da welcome 2 texas sign was totally hilarious 2 me (it sed sumthing along da lines of 'Home of the President'), but still...
oh, n thanks 4 da comment on da last post amnesia =) . 4got about dat :P .
wat's up wif me n friends wif boyfriends or crushes who speaks spanish???? rite now at da top of my head i know 3 guys who speak spanish fluently, but i know i used 2 know more. yet i, personally, hv neva met ne1 who knows spanish (oh i know one, but i practically neva c him so...).
i've stopped smiling. oh, i'm not depressed, but i've jst stopped smiling. i stopped 2day neway. mayb it'll b on my face again 2morrow. tho we all know no matter whether it's on my face or not it's still da same...i hv nothing in particular 2 b happy about. not sad, but not really happy. i mean, come on, gone r da days when i got lost in a museum n stuck in an elavator wif a friend...trying 2 say shoes n sed 'shroos' n 'chairs' instead...jst randomly laughing watching my friend drink juice...saying words like 'theepist' n 'psy-cat-trist'...going hyper on chocolate n jst danced (well, technically it wasn't dancing. it was more like bobbing my head up n down n looking like a total handy) wif another 2 friends...admiring gorgeous cars while sitting in a friend's one chatting...happy memories, good memories...the past...*sigh*

well, n on dat note, since it's nite time n i've always loved da stars n nite n so moon jst kinda get linked in2 da bunch, here's one of my fav poems...

The Highwayman
By Alfred Noyes
Part One
I
The wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees,
The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
The road was a ribbon of moonlight, over the purple moor,
And the highwayman came riding-
Riding-riding-
The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn-door.
II
He'd a French cocked-hat on his forehead, a bunch of lace at his chin,
A coat of the claret velvet, and breeches of brown doe-skin;
They fitted with never a wrinkle: his boots were up to the thigh!
And he rode with a jewelled twinkle,
His pistol butts a-twinkle,
His rapier hilt a-twinkle, under the jewelled sky.
III
Over the cobbles he clattered and clashed in the dark inn-yard,
And he tapped with his whip on the shutters, but all was locked and barred;
He whistled a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
But the landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Bess, the landlord's daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.
IV
And dark in the old inn-yard a stable-wicket creaked
Where Tim the ostler listened; his face was white and peaked;
His eyes were hollows of madness, his hair like mouldy hay,
But he loved the landlord's daughter,
The landlord's red-lipped daughter,
Dumb as a dog he listened, and he heard the robber say-
V
"One kiss, my bonny sweetheart, I'm after a prize to-night,
But I shall be back with the yellow gold before the morning light;
Yet, if they press me sharply, and harry me through the day,
Then look for me by moonlight,
Watch for me by moonlight,
I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way."
VI
He rose upright in the stirrups; he scarce could reach her hand,
But she loosened her hair i' the casement! His face burnt like a brand
As the black cascade of perfume came tumbling over his breast;
And he kissed its waves in the moonlight,
(Oh, sweet black waves in the moonlight!)
Then he tugged at his rein in the moonlight, and galloped away to the West.
Part Two
I
He did not come in the dawning; he did not come at noon;
And out o' the tawny sunset, before the rise o' the moon,
When the road was a gipsy's ribbon, looping the purple moor,
A red-coat troop came marching-
Marching-marching-
King George's men came marching, up to the old inn-door.
II
They said no word to the landlord, they drank his ale instead,
But they gagged his daughter and bound her to the foot of her narrow bed;
Two of them knelt at her casement, with muskets at their side!
There was death at every window;
And hell at one dark window;
For Bess could see, through the casement, the road that he would ride.
III
They had tied her up to attention, with many a sniggering jest;
They bound a musket beside her, with the barrel beneath her breast!
"Now keep good watch!" and they kissed her.
She heard the dead man say-
Look for me by moonlight;
Watch for me by moonlight;
I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way!
IV
She twisted her hands behind her; but all the knots held good!
She writhed her hands till here fingers were wet with sweat or blood!
They stretched and strained in the darkness, and the hours crawled by like
years,
Till, now, on the stroke of midnight,
Cold, on the stroke of midnight,
The tip of one finger touched it! The trigger at least was hers!
V
The tip of one finger touched it; she strove no more for the rest!
Up, she stood up to attention, with the barrel beneath her breast,
She would not risk their hearing; she would not strive again;
For the road lay bare in the moonlight;
Blank and bare in the moonlight;
And the blood of her veins in the moonlight throbbed to her love's refrain.
VI
Tlot-tlot; tlot-tlot! Had they heard it? The horse-hoofs
ringing clear;
Tlot-tlot, tlot-tlot, in the distance? Were they deaf that they did
not hear?
Down the ribbon of moonlight, over the brow of the hill,
The highwayman came riding,
Riding, riding!
The red-coats looked to their priming! She stood up strait and still!
VII
Tlot-tlot, in the frosty silence! Tlot-tlot, in the echoing night
!
Nearer he came and nearer! Her face was like a light!
Her eyes grew wide for a moment; she drew one last deep breath,
Then her finger moved in the moonlight,
Her musket shattered the moonlight,
Shattered her breast in the moonlight and warned him-with her death.
VIII
He turned; he spurred to the West; he did not know who stood
Bowed, with her head o'er the musket, drenched with her own red blood!
Not till the dawn he heard it, his face grew grey to hear
How Bess, the landlord's daughter,
The landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Had watched for her love in the moonlight, and died in the darkness there.
IX
Back, he spurred like a madman, shrieking a curse to the sky,
With the white road smoking behind him and his rapier brandished high!
Blood-red were his spurs i' the golden noon; wine-red was his velvet coat,
When they shot him down on the highway,
Down like a dog on the highway,
And he lay in his blood on the highway, with a bunch of lace at his throat.
* * * * * *
X
And still of a winter's night, they say, when the wind is in the trees,
When the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
When the road is a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
A highwayman comes riding-
Riding-riding-
A highwayman comes riding, up to the old inn-door.
XI
Over the cobbles he clatters and clangs in the dark inn-yard,
And he taps with his whip on the shutters, but all is locked and barred;
He whistles a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
But the landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Bess, the landlord's daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

deadpan boring

there's sumthing special about writing journals. there always is. it's like talking 2 myself. well, it is talking 2 myself. i've always wondered tho: y do ppl get weird looks 4 talking 2 urself, evn out loud? don't we all do dat? i know i talk 2 myself every day. i tell myself 2 b happy, not 2 break sumthing, b good...so really, who doesn't talk 2 themselves? n y does it matter whether u do it out loud or not? it jst seems like sum weird person made talking 2 ourselves sum sort of weird thing 2 do.
well, guess i missed my internet time last wk. after knowing dat i flunked my tests, i started getting confused as 2 whether i should evn study. last sem i passed everything. dis sem, i studied evn harder n end up wif almost nothing. dat's not really an encouragement 2 study, is it? n since i'm getting a bit sick of studying, i think i jst mite stop.
i saw nikki twice last wk. she looks da same n everything, but frm wat i gathered, her mind seems 2 b a bit of a mess. i hope she's gonna b ok. i got called 2 go 2 work yesterday, n jst got called again 2 pro-long my hours 2day, so evn tho i tld her i'm gonna b at da library 2nd floor most of da wk, she won't find me there.
i still hv da daffodil on my bag. i hvn't da heart 2 take it off, but it's all personal vanity n all - i jst think it looks pretty. two of my grandparents died b4 i was born n another was in hospital until she past away when i was six, n other than dat i've neva known nebody else 2 leave my life, so i guess i'm pretty foreign wif illnesses n all. hell, da star around my neck means more than da daffodil.
i watched Saved! (movie) the other nite, n it got me thinking (haha, what's new?) - jst how often do ppl pray? like really really pray? i mite hv prayed, but according 2 my memory, i hv neva eva prayed. neva. i wish a lot tho. i wish every day, in fact. i wish 2 make my parents happy, 2 make my friends happy, n i wish, most of all, dat every day i've done sumthing dat makes sum1 happy. i don't mean da happy as in jst smiling wen u say thank you 2 ppl. i mean happy in da way ppl feel gratitude wen u help dem, wen u've done sumthing meaningful. hell, i say thank you all da time, because i mean it, but 2 b helped through bad times...u don't need words...u can c it, feel it...
i'm not sure y but i've been smiling da past week at work. i jst smile n laugh wen sum1 says a joke. kirsten n leon n dem all - dey don't say nething, i wondered if dey're secretly annoyed coz i jst smile n laugh at everything, n i don't really respond 2 their jokes. my wits r getting old. evn if i come up wif sumthing good, dey're very very slow.
well, gotta get 2 work...since nothing much's happened, i don't suppose i'll b blogging on on saturday.

- what we think, we create
what we feel, we attract
what we imagine, we become - adele basheer

n if dat sounds familiar 2 u gem, or tazzie doll, if u happen 2 read my blog, it's coz it's on da journal tazzie gave me 4 my birthday 4 yrs ago :P